var aboutHTML = "<div class='describe'><p><button onclick='closeCurrentDialog()' class='right'>done</button><em>I spend a good amount of time being alive</em>. Accordingly, I hear and read things. Sometimes they're <em>incredible</em>, so BTNBT is about that: depictions of crap I encounter, whether <em>trashy</em> or <em>profound</em>.</p><p>These interpretations come in all forms, usually drawings, cartoons, or typography.</p><p>BTNBT is both a <em>webcomic</em> and a <em>card gallery</em>. Some events are from straight from my life, so I guess it's also semi-autobiographical.</p><p>Hell, BTNBT is <em>anything you want it to be</em>.</p></div>";
var browseHTML = "<div class='describe'><p><button onclick='closeCurrentDialog()' class='right'>done</button><em>Everything.</em> Quotes from friends! Teachers! Things overheard! Twitter! Facebook statuses! Lyrics! Celebrities! Historical figures! Clichés! Your mom!</p><p>And my personal favorite: <em>internet commentfuckery.</em></p><p>...Nothing is below BTNBT.</p></div>";

var faqHTML = "<div class='describe'><p><button onclick='closeCurrentDialog()' class='right'>done</button>All illustrations on BTNBT come as <em>images</em> and in an easy print, <em>formatted .pdf</em>. Simply download, print, and fold hamburger-style; you'll be the coolest kid in town.</p><p>You are free to copy and share BTNBT stuff, but not sell it. Creative Commons, yeah!</p><br /><span xmlns:dc='http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/' href='http://purl.org/dc/dcmitype/InteractiveResource' property='dc:title' rel='dc:type'>BTNBT.com</span> by <a xmlns:cc='http://creativecommons.org/ns#' href='http://www.grungerabbit.com' property='cc:attributionName' rel='cc:attributionURL'>grungerabbit</a> is licensed under a <a rel='license' href='http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/us/'>Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License</a>.<br />Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at <a xmlns:cc='http://creativecommons.org/ns#' href='http://www.greedytrees.com' rel='cc:morePermissions'>http://www.greedytrees.com</a>.</div>";
var contactHTML = "<div class='describe'><p><button onclick='closeCurrentDialog()' class='right'>done</button>BTNBT is by <a href='http://www.grungerabbit.com'>grungerabbit</a>, one half of <a href='http://www.greedytrees.com'><em>GREEDYTREES</em></a>. We're a web design and development company. (Hire us!) We're also pretty cool kids.</p></div>";

var disclaimerHTML = "<div class='describe'><p><button onclick='closeCurrentDialog()' class='right'>done</button><p>This site may not be appropriate for those with delicate sensibilities. <em>Do not apply</em> if you object to <em>sex, profanity, bitchiness, TMI, or controversial topics.</em> If BTNBT causes you <em>butthurt</em>, well, sorry, I warned you.</p><p>Oh, and the BTNBT tagline above is randomly generated, although <em>big two neck balls Thoreau</em> is an excellent name.</p></div>";